Over the weekend and on Monday, I went to my wife's hometown to attend her grandfather's funeral. Her grandfather lived to be a hundred years old, so it can be considered a happy funeral. His face looked peaceful.
I have visited their hometown few times, and I haven't met her grandfather many times either. In total, it's only been about ten or twenty times. Her grandfather used to be very strong and could still do physical work even in his 90s. His voice was also loud when he spoke. However, since 2016, his health has been declining year by year. Despite the pandemic for the past three years, he managed to hold on, but unfortunately, he couldn't make it this year.
During the funeral, I was thinking, is this how I will continue to live my whole life? What is the meaning of my life? Is it for working overtime every day? Is it for paying rent? Is it just for the sake of being alive?
Perhaps everything itself doesn't have much meaning, it's just a lack of courage to make changes!
I always think that I will wait until I have enough money, pay off the mortgage, and do things that I like. But over the years, I have already forgotten what I used to like! I have become like everyone else, without my own shadow.